"I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun - not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else." -C.S. Lewis

I've felt God's presence so much more in my life the past two months than I have the past two years. Here, in Dallas this summer, I've grown into someone I recognize again. This summer has brought me back to life in every sense. I feel connected to my spirit and my soul again. I feel genuinely positive and happy about my future. I've also gained a sense of direction for where I would like to head with my life. 


I've realized that I want to be here. I want the lifestyle of the south. This is my heaven.


The people here, the mission here, my life here, is exactly what I want for the rest of forever. :)

Listen to this --> Texas by PlayRadioPlay :)

"Your passions and changing lives and showing Jesus to others is your reality." -Rachel Goddard

I have the absolute best friends on the planet. 


I was having a dilemma last weekend, and didn't have anyone here to turn to. It was a situation back home that I wasn't sure how to deal with and I was getting rather frustrated over, and no one in Dallas knew me well enough to tell me what to do. I texted one of my roommates looking for advice and security..but I got so much more. I forgot how well my best friends knew me. I forgot how much I missed Michigan and my best friends.


"And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that’s all you can ever ask from a friend." -StoryPeople


I was struggling with something else a few days later and gave a call to another friend back home and I felt left that conversation feeling so loved. I have hit the jackpot on friends it seems, back in Michigan and here in Texas. :)

On a different note...last week was one interesting one. I'd say one for the books! From day one, things went wrong. Monday, we had a kid who didn't want to behave so he had to sit out for half the day. Although it was a difficult situation, we made it work. We played soccer, climbed on tanks that were at the National Guard station near the trail, and talked about how PT could be improved. 

Tuesday of last week we didn't even get to go mountain biking. Chapel Hill was having a special guest presenter come in and talk to the youth about visual arts and photography. She showed them a slideshow, had them draw poses and then everyone took a portrait using a polaroid camera. It was quite an interesting show. 

Wednesday was a different kind of struggle. Everything was going fine until the end of our ride when one of the youth started clenching his chest and breathing really hard. He looked like he was in a tremendous amount of pain and everyone rushed to his aid. He said his chest hurt really badly and we were afraid to let him continue, so we cut our ride short and played it safe. SCARY!

This week we also had a murder mystery party! My friends are such great actors :)

Thursday we had to bring one of the youth from Oak Cliff UMC back right after he got there! Everyday we let the kids use some of PT's donated sunscreen...and poor Alex broke out in hives after putting it on. His neck was inflamed and his face had red bumps all over. It was such an itchy situation that I felt nothing but bad for the guy. It was an adventure and a good chance to get to know one of the other interns from Oak Cliff though and it ended up being a fun day overall!

Thursday night... not that I even need to say it, because everyone already knows.... WAS THE HARRY POTTER PREMIER!!! The stories of my childhood... coming to an end in a final movie. A group of us bought tickets the night before...for reasonably cheap... and had the wonderful opportunity to see the movie at 12:01! 

Friday Experience last week was an educational one. A spokesperson from Zoe Ministries came in and spoke to us about their organization. Above anything else, he stressed how he wanted us to take away a more critical version of thinking of not for profit organization....and his presentation did just that. Instead of traveling to in-need countries and giving away supplies or services, Zoe Ministries is about teaching orphans how to fend for themselves. The only thing the organization gives orphans in African without them earning it is a hoe, to make land ready to harvest (proper word usage Rachel Goddard? haha). It made me rethink my deep urge to want to travel to Africa and help people over there. What good is it if I just give them things that they don't have? Will they learn to become forever dependent on others? Another question that had been on my heart lately was asked straight up during this Friday Experience. 

"What should I do about going home at night to a home, a roof, and everything the people I'm helping don't have?" I have been feeling so guilty lately. Working with kids in urban areas puts my life into such a perspective. It's as small as leaving site everyday to come home to Southern Methodist University (which is too expensive for even me to afford to attend), let alone get to live here for free for the summer, where volunteer churches bring us free dinner every night of the week. My life is so easy compared to these kids, and I didn't do a single thing to deserve it. Let alone, when I leave Dallas for the summer, I'll be flying back to Michigan where I'll be living in my own apartment, going to college, paying for next to nothing by myself. I am so lucky to have parents who support me...emotionally and financially. 

After the wonderful eye opening and thoughtful presentation about Zoe Ministries, a bunch of us loaded up to head over to my friend Nic's house in Plano for a pool party! :) We spent so long just hanging out, throwing a football, dunking each other, and just releasing all of our stress from the prior week. It was a absolutely wonderful day, capped off with playing video games, getting to know each other better, and watching movies. 

Saturday morning, me and three friends got up early, drank our coffee, and geared up for our 18 mile relay race!! Although it was sooooooo hot and we ran way slower than expected and desired, it was a great time and I'm so glad that I got to compete with "Gabe and the Babes!" :)

Saturday night... one for the books!!! I think last Saturday made my top three favorite nights of the summer. The whole day on Saturday I wasn't feeling well. I hadn't gotten much sleep the past three or four nights and I was emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. I layed around...not feeling well.... and I questioned whether I wanted to be social on Saturday night or just sleep. Luckily, my friend Stacey didn't let me cop out of our exciting plans. So I got all dressed up and went to Southern Junction. I learned how to 2-Step and I had an absolute blast!!! I feel inspired to buy cowboy boots and to country dance forever!

Listen to this --> Growing Old Too Young by Andrew Ripp :)

"Oh farewell to all these people I've known, welcome these seeds that have been sown. Oh farewell to a place I've called home." -Jake Ousley

Before I started this internship, my roommates back home would make jokes all the time about me going to Dallas, falling in love with a southern man, and then staying in Texas forever. I would always brush them off and assure them that would never happen. Although their theory was slightly off and I haven't fallen in love with a boy here, I have fallen in love with this state. 


I've always loved Texas, but now... I'm head over heels in love with this place. The kind of love where you never want to leave, and when you do, you can't imagine anything ever being better. 


It's past 2:00am and all I can think about is the feeling you get when you walk outside at night. In Michigan, you feel chilly, put on a sweatshirt, and look around at the cloudy skies and windy areas. Tonight, when I walked out from the Lambda Chai house, I felt the warm air hug my bare legs. I didn't need jeans, or a sweatshirt for that matter. I looked up and saw stars shining bright through the shaded cloudy sky. It was an absolutely stunning end to an absolutely fun filled Thursday night at Project Transformation. 


Two days ago, during dinner announcements, we found out that we would be having a PT Prom, with the theme of 80's/90's, of course! The next morning, I walked out the door at 7 to get breakfast before work and I noticed my doorway was a little shorter than usual. I stepped out the door, and turned back to see what was causing the blockage. There was a banner across the top of my door-frame that said, "Dear Kristen, Superman wants to fly you to Prom. You "up" for it? -Rico"


And two days later...here we are :)

It was the second best prom I've ever been to! All of those who chose to attend piled in the basement of the Kappa Sigma house and danced the night away to songs of the past with our DJ and fellow intern Larry :)


It never ceases to amaze me how I can always have fun with these kids. I can't think of a single thing I've done so far that I haven't had fun during. Really. And if you don't believe me, I have an extreme story to prove it. Each week, everyone is assigned a different chore with their "chore team." This week, I was on dish crew after dinner. This is generally the worst chore you can get and is occasionally assigned as a punishment if you screw up. Even during something as boring and awful as washing everyone's dishes, I had a blast. We all jammed out to the radio, washed, dried, and mopped our little hearts out, everyday this week. 

I feel so guilty for leaving Michigan behind. Not only did I move physically for the summer, but I left emotionally and mentally as well. I hardly ever find myself thinking of Northville or Allendale for that matter. I miss my best friends though, the ones who know my heart and the ones I can run to with everything. Those strong individuals whom God has placed in my life for very large and fulfilling purposes. I miss them like crazy, even if I don't realize it all of the time. Please keep my roommate and best friend in your prayers as she is struggling with family emergencies. She deserves to have the world and I hope that this summer is all that she dreamed it could be for her, if not more. 

Last night I got the opportunity to go to my first ever Rangers baseball game! It was really fun, and I almost didn't mind sitting in the nose-bleed seats! I would have stayed a lot longer, but I was so exhausted from mountain biking that day that all I wanted to do was sleep. As we were walking out, there were vendors handing out free Spicy Chicken Sandwhiches from Chic-Fil-A as well as free Snapple! It was a wonderful first game for me. 

Check out what some of my fellow interns and I did after worship Tuesday night....

I really really love Texas. I love the mixture of people. I love the chivalry. I love that Texas is so alive. I love that I feel here, instead of Allendale where I feel like I've been made immune to everything. I feel as though my passions for life and God's greatest hunger for the world are finally meeting. I am finally making a difference and working towards God's glory. 

Please continue to pray for this organization, the kids involved, the community of interns, and my friends back home. Also, be thinking of my mother in these times as my dog has run away from my grand parents house in Houston and has been missing for a few days. Maggie has been apart of the family for about 10 years and it's not easy to watch something like this happen and not be able to do anything about it :(

"You are the one who put me together inside my mother's body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt." -Psalms 139:14-14

Listen to this --> Stay by Jake Ousley :)

"Sometimes you don't see what's going on under the surface until it appears." -Sam Meadors

It makes sense when you think about it. I am spending my summer working and it feels like a vacation because it's the ideal job, with the ideal people, in my ideal place. Then, when I leave this wonderful place for a "holiday weekend getaway," it would make sense that the time away would be even nicer than the time spent in Dallas. But all I can think is; how is that possible?! 


"Early in the morning, I will celebrate the light, and as I stumble through the darkness, I will call Your name by night." -Chris Tomlin


Friday morning, after all 100 interns gathered on the large beautiful steps of a building on SMU's campus for a group photo, we each parted our ways to our chosen Friday Experience locations. This week, I took a field trip to Oak Cliff UMC to learn more about Non-Profit Management and Careers. This was led by Eric Lindh, the Executive Director of Project Transformation (which was so cool to not only learn about non-profits, but to learn about the one I've been working for!!). Eric mentioned that he preferred not to refer to them as "non-profits," because that's defining us by something that we're NOT. He prefers the term, "not-for-profit."

Can I also say that looking at all of these interns, dressed the same, standing together, it amazes me how a group of so many different, diverse, creative, inspiring, and blessed college students can come from all over the country to make up one body.

Friday afternoon...I got to live the life or luxury that I spoke of in the beginning. I flew to Horseshoe Bay for the extended holiday weekend with my aunt, uncle and cousin who live in Fort Worth. And if I do say so myself, any day in Horseshoe Bay is a great day.

I work with kids in urban areas of Dallas all day long, and not only do I live on a campus with the most beautiful architecture I've ever seen, but on the weekends I fly in a privately owned plane to a condo on a lake. Paradise? I think yes. Not only that, but we spent our days out on the boat, jet-skiing, wake-boarding, tanning, and dining at high end wine vineyards. I'm living the most privileged life I can imagine and I feel like a complete poser. I wish I could have brought one (if not all!) of the youth with me so they could appreciate other areas and ends of life. I wish I could let the kids experience this instead of me. I've been here before. I've walked in these pricy shoes, and I've eaten these exotic meals. I've done this all before. I wish I could switch lives with them. They deserve so much more, I just wish I could give them the world. 

I am so glad that I'm in Dallas this summer. My family is here, and conveniently on this July 4th weekend, I got to not only see my Texas relatives, but my mom and brother as well...on my baby brother's birthday! Sunday night we watched fireworks from a gorgeous resort that was a mix of a yacht club and a country club, while eating delicious quesadillas! The fireworks were shot up from a peninsula in the middle of the lake and the view was beautiful.

It's funny to me though, as Sam Meadors mentioned tonight at worship, that things can't always be seen that are happening underneath until they break the surface. It's crazy how true that is with people. There's so much that goes on within each of us, it's startling to learn that it happens to everyone. To each of your friends, and each of your family members. Although they may just be your friendly, role-model cousin or sibling, they are fighting battles of their own and they need love and sometimes, the most important thing you can give them... hope. 

Upon returning to SMU on Monday evening, a large group of us interns re-united and took the dart (largest fail of the summer so far!) to watch more fireworks that were closer to downtown Dallas. Even though it was a struggle and a ball full of wrong turns, scary elevator rides, and impatient people, we made it there and had a wonderful time bonding and relaxing before going back to work the next morning. 

And let me tell you...the first day back after the holiday, was one for the books! Today we had a girl fall off her bike and cut up her leg pretty bad. I wasn't here at the time, but she opted out of cleaning it immediately, which resulted in dirt clotting up the (pretty deep) wound. When we returned to site, I had her sit down and wash it off so I could make sure she was alright. The dirt was so deep in her cut that it took three of us, tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, lots of paper towels, and countless tears to get it looking remotely clean. I was the designated hand holder, as this girl clenched my hand, used it to wipe her tears, hid her eyes from watching this happening, squeezed all of pain away, in order to make it through the process. I was so proud of her for making it through this. She's so strong, and I've gained so much more respect for her. 


Did I mention that I got to hang out with my favorite person on the entire earth this weekend? My mother. :) She has such a true heart and I love her to death. She's the most beautiful and inspiring woman I know. Thanks for everything Mom!

Listen to this --> City on Our Knees by TobyMac :)