"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves." -Lynn Hall

"No one is this happy in Michigan...." My friend Mary said after watching videos from my summer job in Dallas. I learned this sad fact a year ago when I returned to Grand Rapids after spending ten weeks working for Project Transformation. 

Getting back to Michigan, returning to college life, to the everyday routines and obligations, a close friend of mine pointed out how childish I had become. Within the course of the last three months, I have surrounded myself with people that have not only made me feel younger, but have caused me to act younger as well. I'm having a difficult time balancing the art of keeping a child's like heart while continuing to grow up. 


On my journey the past three weeks after Urban Camp has ended, I have developed the skill of being able to feel at home in any place I stay. My couch hopping and road tripping across the country has helped sink in the fact that an idea of a "home" can be anywhere, as long as it's felt within your heart. And let me tell you, this summer, I've learned how to be at peace with myself, and the relationships I've built recently have been directly affected by that. 

The high school LITES at Oak Cliff have unknowingly helped me adjust to who I have become. They've taught me that love is everywhere, all the time, and all you have to do is open your eyes to it. My friends this summer have shown me that even though we're all in transitional places and change is ever beckoning, there's always people that will go through it with you, and meet you right where you need to be. Now, as difficult as it is to start acting like a senior in college with faded purple and blue dye in your hair, it's time to take this last year of schooling for all it's worth and it's time to start using my own two feet to take me as far as they can. One of my very intelligent LITES, Blanca, who also dyed her hair, wrote this after leaving camp a few weeks ago; "I slowly opened up and like my hair, the color stayed, the interns, the kids, the LITES stayed in me."

Moving away from Dallas, away from all the friendships that completely consume my heart, away from these absolutely amazingly talented, loving, accepting, God seeking high school students that I've grown so close to, I'm realizing for the first time, that moving doesn't mean leaving. I am not leaving these kids. I am not leaving my friends. Project Transformation has taught me, above all, how to love like Jesus did, and He would not have let a love like this die or be forgotten. So as much of a challenge as it is going to be for my "out of sight, out of mind" way of life that I've gone by for the last twenty-one years, I am going to do everything in my power to keep them strong.

As much as my kids and I have joked about the page in The Giving Tree that says, "And the tree was happy... but not really," that isn't the end of the story. This tree effortlessly gave everything it had for the little boy, even when the tree knew the boy would leave without promise of returning. Jesus did this same thing for us, when He gave up everything He could, including His life, to show us how immensely He loves us. That boy kept coming back to the tree until he was an old man. And as many times as we may turn away from God, He will always stand there, strong and willing to help every time we're in need. Sure, the tree was sad every time he left, but that boy kept coming back to where he felt loved, and at home. The last pages of this book don't say, "...but not really." The last pages of this book say, "And the tree was happy." Because if we haven't all heard it enough before, everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not, it's not the end. 

With the end of the summer come and gone, I can freely say, I am happy. I am blessed. I am loved. 

Listen to this --> Homesick by MercyMe. :)