"Live to feed the hungry, stand beside the broken, we must go, stepping forward, keep us from just singing, move us into action, WE MUST GO."

My summer in Dallas has ended. I'm currently sitting on my bed at home in Northville, Michigan. As much as I love my family, my friends, and my school, I left a large part of my heart in Texas. And I can't wait to go and fill it up again next summer!

I had the opportunity to spend the last week in Bridgeport, Texas at Urban Camp with the 6th - 9th graders, and the highschool L.I.T.E.s (Leader In Training Experience). Since I never went to an overnight camp like this as a kid, I really had no idea what to expect. Turns out, this was my favorite week of the summer, by far. Each different site of kids was assigned a color to represent them, and throughout the week, the kids wore their respective colors and there was a sense of competition in the air between the colors. As competitive as some did get, the kids were still so open to making friends from other churches and creating lifelong bonds. 


A daily routine for me at Urban Camp would look a little something like this; wake up at 7:00, shower, wake the 20 other girls in my cabin up at 7:20, everyone would get dressed and ready for the day, make their beds and clean up their rooms. At 8:00 we would clean the cabin as a whole, sweeping each room, making sure it looked tidy for the Cabin Checkers (the team with the cleanest cabin got an award each day!). At 8:25 we'd walk over to the main dining hall where we'd line up outside of the doors in single file lines. As PT staff would come outside to greet us all, everyone in line (interns and campers) would be completely silent, because if we were making noise as we entered the building, everyone was forced to go back outside and start the process from the beginning! After we'd all successfully made it into the dining area, we'd stand behind our chairs (which we'd sit in the same seat everyday), and start drinking our glass of water. Every camper and intern had to drink two glasses of water before allowed to get in line for food. The rough part of this was that once you drank your first glass of water that was cold, you'd have to pour your second out of a pitcher on the table, and that water....was uncomfortably warm. After everyone at your table had finished their share of water, held their cup in the air, or held it on top of their head, and was totally silent, we waited until we were called on to get in line for food.


Once you were in line, you were golden. And the food....beyond delicious! It was bottomless...so you could get as much as you wanted but the rule was, "Take what you want, eat what you take." 


After breakfast, we'd head back to our cabin for morning devotional. Then we'd head to the flagpole at the top of the hill and all of the teams would meet up for "role call." Attendance was taken via song/dance! Each team would have a different song each morning. Most teams would take popular songs and change the lyrics to revolve around their color. From the flagpole time, we'd all split up and go to our designated "activity." The kids chose from a bunch of cool stuff like soccer, horseback riding, volleyball, mountain biking, swimming, art, football, cooking, archery, fishing, newspaper, basketball, dance and singing. They got to spend an hour doing four of these things each. There would be two rotations, then lunch, then two more rotations, then free time until dinner.


Before dinner and lunch, we'd go through the exact same steps as we did at breakfast. After dinner, everyone would head over straight to worship...EVERY NIGHT. I absolutely loved having a worship service every night. I wish my real life was like this! After worship, there would be a special social event for the kids each night. The first night was a luau which consisted of dancing, ice cream sandwiches, and playing in the pool. The second night was a movie night. There was a huge tarp set up on a small hill and we watched Despicable Me on the side of a building. Thursday night was the final night, and the final event was the talent show...which went from 8 until 11! But let me tell you...there were some beyond talented youth. All of their passion  was overwhelming to me. 


On Friday, the final morning, we packed our bags, went to breakfast, and then straight to worship which happened to be outside since the heat was tolerable so early in the morning. From there, we hugged our kids goodbye, cried our eyes out, and watched them board the busses, to leave us.....some until next summer....some forever. 

This summer has changed my life. I know that I feel a need to serve kids in inner-city areas. I know I have a passion for bringing Christ into relationships. I have learned where my strengths lie, and where my faults are flaunted. Although I can't live in the Project Transformation environment for my life, I've realized that I can bring it with me wherever I go...and I fully intend on it. 

PS Is it weird that my computer won't adjust back to Michigan time? It's permanently set on Dallas. Coincidence? Fate? :)

Thank you for all of your support this summer. Thank you for following me on my journey. Thank you for any donations to this absolutely amazing organization you may have made. Thank you for praying, for believing, for understanding, for caring. God is such a powerful influence for me right now and all I can do is be grateful for the experiences I've had this summer. 

Until next summer, Project Transformation! :)

Listen to this --> God of Justice by Tim Hughes :)

"You say to the mountain, Move Move, That mountain will move. You will move."

This was one of my favorite nights/mornings of my entire summer. We stayed up late watching a movie, played lots of card games, went to Cafe Brazil, then watched the sunrise at our spot... watching the sun come up over the Dallas skyline. 

This is my South Carolinian friend Angela. 

This is my friend Cole, from Rowlett, Texas. 

 These are my two best friends this summer, Ivan and Hector (Stitch and Hercules). 

Listen to this --> Wave Your Flag from the Rio Soundtrack :)

"I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun - not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else." -C.S. Lewis

I've felt God's presence so much more in my life the past two months than I have the past two years. Here, in Dallas this summer, I've grown into someone I recognize again. This summer has brought me back to life in every sense. I feel connected to my spirit and my soul again. I feel genuinely positive and happy about my future. I've also gained a sense of direction for where I would like to head with my life. 


I've realized that I want to be here. I want the lifestyle of the south. This is my heaven.


The people here, the mission here, my life here, is exactly what I want for the rest of forever. :)

Listen to this --> Texas by PlayRadioPlay :)

"Your passions and changing lives and showing Jesus to others is your reality." -Rachel Goddard

I have the absolute best friends on the planet. 


I was having a dilemma last weekend, and didn't have anyone here to turn to. It was a situation back home that I wasn't sure how to deal with and I was getting rather frustrated over, and no one in Dallas knew me well enough to tell me what to do. I texted one of my roommates looking for advice and security..but I got so much more. I forgot how well my best friends knew me. I forgot how much I missed Michigan and my best friends.


"And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that’s all you can ever ask from a friend." -StoryPeople


I was struggling with something else a few days later and gave a call to another friend back home and I felt left that conversation feeling so loved. I have hit the jackpot on friends it seems, back in Michigan and here in Texas. :)

On a different note...last week was one interesting one. I'd say one for the books! From day one, things went wrong. Monday, we had a kid who didn't want to behave so he had to sit out for half the day. Although it was a difficult situation, we made it work. We played soccer, climbed on tanks that were at the National Guard station near the trail, and talked about how PT could be improved. 

Tuesday of last week we didn't even get to go mountain biking. Chapel Hill was having a special guest presenter come in and talk to the youth about visual arts and photography. She showed them a slideshow, had them draw poses and then everyone took a portrait using a polaroid camera. It was quite an interesting show. 

Wednesday was a different kind of struggle. Everything was going fine until the end of our ride when one of the youth started clenching his chest and breathing really hard. He looked like he was in a tremendous amount of pain and everyone rushed to his aid. He said his chest hurt really badly and we were afraid to let him continue, so we cut our ride short and played it safe. SCARY!

This week we also had a murder mystery party! My friends are such great actors :)

Thursday we had to bring one of the youth from Oak Cliff UMC back right after he got there! Everyday we let the kids use some of PT's donated sunscreen...and poor Alex broke out in hives after putting it on. His neck was inflamed and his face had red bumps all over. It was such an itchy situation that I felt nothing but bad for the guy. It was an adventure and a good chance to get to know one of the other interns from Oak Cliff though and it ended up being a fun day overall!

Thursday night... not that I even need to say it, because everyone already knows.... WAS THE HARRY POTTER PREMIER!!! The stories of my childhood... coming to an end in a final movie. A group of us bought tickets the night before...for reasonably cheap... and had the wonderful opportunity to see the movie at 12:01! 

Friday Experience last week was an educational one. A spokesperson from Zoe Ministries came in and spoke to us about their organization. Above anything else, he stressed how he wanted us to take away a more critical version of thinking of not for profit organization....and his presentation did just that. Instead of traveling to in-need countries and giving away supplies or services, Zoe Ministries is about teaching orphans how to fend for themselves. The only thing the organization gives orphans in African without them earning it is a hoe, to make land ready to harvest (proper word usage Rachel Goddard? haha). It made me rethink my deep urge to want to travel to Africa and help people over there. What good is it if I just give them things that they don't have? Will they learn to become forever dependent on others? Another question that had been on my heart lately was asked straight up during this Friday Experience. 

"What should I do about going home at night to a home, a roof, and everything the people I'm helping don't have?" I have been feeling so guilty lately. Working with kids in urban areas puts my life into such a perspective. It's as small as leaving site everyday to come home to Southern Methodist University (which is too expensive for even me to afford to attend), let alone get to live here for free for the summer, where volunteer churches bring us free dinner every night of the week. My life is so easy compared to these kids, and I didn't do a single thing to deserve it. Let alone, when I leave Dallas for the summer, I'll be flying back to Michigan where I'll be living in my own apartment, going to college, paying for next to nothing by myself. I am so lucky to have parents who support me...emotionally and financially. 

After the wonderful eye opening and thoughtful presentation about Zoe Ministries, a bunch of us loaded up to head over to my friend Nic's house in Plano for a pool party! :) We spent so long just hanging out, throwing a football, dunking each other, and just releasing all of our stress from the prior week. It was a absolutely wonderful day, capped off with playing video games, getting to know each other better, and watching movies. 

Saturday morning, me and three friends got up early, drank our coffee, and geared up for our 18 mile relay race!! Although it was sooooooo hot and we ran way slower than expected and desired, it was a great time and I'm so glad that I got to compete with "Gabe and the Babes!" :)

Saturday night... one for the books!!! I think last Saturday made my top three favorite nights of the summer. The whole day on Saturday I wasn't feeling well. I hadn't gotten much sleep the past three or four nights and I was emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. I layed around...not feeling well.... and I questioned whether I wanted to be social on Saturday night or just sleep. Luckily, my friend Stacey didn't let me cop out of our exciting plans. So I got all dressed up and went to Southern Junction. I learned how to 2-Step and I had an absolute blast!!! I feel inspired to buy cowboy boots and to country dance forever!

Listen to this --> Growing Old Too Young by Andrew Ripp :)

"Oh farewell to all these people I've known, welcome these seeds that have been sown. Oh farewell to a place I've called home." -Jake Ousley

Before I started this internship, my roommates back home would make jokes all the time about me going to Dallas, falling in love with a southern man, and then staying in Texas forever. I would always brush them off and assure them that would never happen. Although their theory was slightly off and I haven't fallen in love with a boy here, I have fallen in love with this state. 


I've always loved Texas, but now... I'm head over heels in love with this place. The kind of love where you never want to leave, and when you do, you can't imagine anything ever being better. 


It's past 2:00am and all I can think about is the feeling you get when you walk outside at night. In Michigan, you feel chilly, put on a sweatshirt, and look around at the cloudy skies and windy areas. Tonight, when I walked out from the Lambda Chai house, I felt the warm air hug my bare legs. I didn't need jeans, or a sweatshirt for that matter. I looked up and saw stars shining bright through the shaded cloudy sky. It was an absolutely stunning end to an absolutely fun filled Thursday night at Project Transformation. 


Two days ago, during dinner announcements, we found out that we would be having a PT Prom, with the theme of 80's/90's, of course! The next morning, I walked out the door at 7 to get breakfast before work and I noticed my doorway was a little shorter than usual. I stepped out the door, and turned back to see what was causing the blockage. There was a banner across the top of my door-frame that said, "Dear Kristen, Superman wants to fly you to Prom. You "up" for it? -Rico"


And two days later...here we are :)

It was the second best prom I've ever been to! All of those who chose to attend piled in the basement of the Kappa Sigma house and danced the night away to songs of the past with our DJ and fellow intern Larry :)


It never ceases to amaze me how I can always have fun with these kids. I can't think of a single thing I've done so far that I haven't had fun during. Really. And if you don't believe me, I have an extreme story to prove it. Each week, everyone is assigned a different chore with their "chore team." This week, I was on dish crew after dinner. This is generally the worst chore you can get and is occasionally assigned as a punishment if you screw up. Even during something as boring and awful as washing everyone's dishes, I had a blast. We all jammed out to the radio, washed, dried, and mopped our little hearts out, everyday this week. 

I feel so guilty for leaving Michigan behind. Not only did I move physically for the summer, but I left emotionally and mentally as well. I hardly ever find myself thinking of Northville or Allendale for that matter. I miss my best friends though, the ones who know my heart and the ones I can run to with everything. Those strong individuals whom God has placed in my life for very large and fulfilling purposes. I miss them like crazy, even if I don't realize it all of the time. Please keep my roommate and best friend in your prayers as she is struggling with family emergencies. She deserves to have the world and I hope that this summer is all that she dreamed it could be for her, if not more. 

Last night I got the opportunity to go to my first ever Rangers baseball game! It was really fun, and I almost didn't mind sitting in the nose-bleed seats! I would have stayed a lot longer, but I was so exhausted from mountain biking that day that all I wanted to do was sleep. As we were walking out, there were vendors handing out free Spicy Chicken Sandwhiches from Chic-Fil-A as well as free Snapple! It was a wonderful first game for me. 

Check out what some of my fellow interns and I did after worship Tuesday night....

I really really love Texas. I love the mixture of people. I love the chivalry. I love that Texas is so alive. I love that I feel here, instead of Allendale where I feel like I've been made immune to everything. I feel as though my passions for life and God's greatest hunger for the world are finally meeting. I am finally making a difference and working towards God's glory. 

Please continue to pray for this organization, the kids involved, the community of interns, and my friends back home. Also, be thinking of my mother in these times as my dog has run away from my grand parents house in Houston and has been missing for a few days. Maggie has been apart of the family for about 10 years and it's not easy to watch something like this happen and not be able to do anything about it :(

"You are the one who put me together inside my mother's body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt." -Psalms 139:14-14

Listen to this --> Stay by Jake Ousley :)

"Sometimes you don't see what's going on under the surface until it appears." -Sam Meadors

It makes sense when you think about it. I am spending my summer working and it feels like a vacation because it's the ideal job, with the ideal people, in my ideal place. Then, when I leave this wonderful place for a "holiday weekend getaway," it would make sense that the time away would be even nicer than the time spent in Dallas. But all I can think is; how is that possible?! 


"Early in the morning, I will celebrate the light, and as I stumble through the darkness, I will call Your name by night." -Chris Tomlin


Friday morning, after all 100 interns gathered on the large beautiful steps of a building on SMU's campus for a group photo, we each parted our ways to our chosen Friday Experience locations. This week, I took a field trip to Oak Cliff UMC to learn more about Non-Profit Management and Careers. This was led by Eric Lindh, the Executive Director of Project Transformation (which was so cool to not only learn about non-profits, but to learn about the one I've been working for!!). Eric mentioned that he preferred not to refer to them as "non-profits," because that's defining us by something that we're NOT. He prefers the term, "not-for-profit."

Can I also say that looking at all of these interns, dressed the same, standing together, it amazes me how a group of so many different, diverse, creative, inspiring, and blessed college students can come from all over the country to make up one body.

Friday afternoon...I got to live the life or luxury that I spoke of in the beginning. I flew to Horseshoe Bay for the extended holiday weekend with my aunt, uncle and cousin who live in Fort Worth. And if I do say so myself, any day in Horseshoe Bay is a great day.

I work with kids in urban areas of Dallas all day long, and not only do I live on a campus with the most beautiful architecture I've ever seen, but on the weekends I fly in a privately owned plane to a condo on a lake. Paradise? I think yes. Not only that, but we spent our days out on the boat, jet-skiing, wake-boarding, tanning, and dining at high end wine vineyards. I'm living the most privileged life I can imagine and I feel like a complete poser. I wish I could have brought one (if not all!) of the youth with me so they could appreciate other areas and ends of life. I wish I could let the kids experience this instead of me. I've been here before. I've walked in these pricy shoes, and I've eaten these exotic meals. I've done this all before. I wish I could switch lives with them. They deserve so much more, I just wish I could give them the world. 

I am so glad that I'm in Dallas this summer. My family is here, and conveniently on this July 4th weekend, I got to not only see my Texas relatives, but my mom and brother as well...on my baby brother's birthday! Sunday night we watched fireworks from a gorgeous resort that was a mix of a yacht club and a country club, while eating delicious quesadillas! The fireworks were shot up from a peninsula in the middle of the lake and the view was beautiful.

It's funny to me though, as Sam Meadors mentioned tonight at worship, that things can't always be seen that are happening underneath until they break the surface. It's crazy how true that is with people. There's so much that goes on within each of us, it's startling to learn that it happens to everyone. To each of your friends, and each of your family members. Although they may just be your friendly, role-model cousin or sibling, they are fighting battles of their own and they need love and sometimes, the most important thing you can give them... hope. 

Upon returning to SMU on Monday evening, a large group of us interns re-united and took the dart (largest fail of the summer so far!) to watch more fireworks that were closer to downtown Dallas. Even though it was a struggle and a ball full of wrong turns, scary elevator rides, and impatient people, we made it there and had a wonderful time bonding and relaxing before going back to work the next morning. 

And let me tell you...the first day back after the holiday, was one for the books! Today we had a girl fall off her bike and cut up her leg pretty bad. I wasn't here at the time, but she opted out of cleaning it immediately, which resulted in dirt clotting up the (pretty deep) wound. When we returned to site, I had her sit down and wash it off so I could make sure she was alright. The dirt was so deep in her cut that it took three of us, tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, lots of paper towels, and countless tears to get it looking remotely clean. I was the designated hand holder, as this girl clenched my hand, used it to wipe her tears, hid her eyes from watching this happening, squeezed all of pain away, in order to make it through the process. I was so proud of her for making it through this. She's so strong, and I've gained so much more respect for her. 


Did I mention that I got to hang out with my favorite person on the entire earth this weekend? My mother. :) She has such a true heart and I love her to death. She's the most beautiful and inspiring woman I know. Thanks for everything Mom!

Listen to this --> City on Our Knees by TobyMac :)

"Maybe we won't survive, but maybe we'll grow, we never know." - John Legend

My mind seems to be on over-drive right now...things just keep spinning so quickly, I can't help but to close my eyes and pray that they will slow down. SOON. 

Monday was our first official day taking the youth mountain biking on the LB Houston dirt trails. For how nervous I was, I was pleasantly surprised when it went off without a hitch. This is ironic to me because for how NOT nervous I was for our first day, two weeks ago, it went awfully. Two of the faster kids lined up toward the back of the group before we started, and insisted on staying there. For most of the trail, they'd ask to take extended breaks so that the kids ahead of them could get a head-start so they could race from behind to catch up. I agreed to their sneaky plan, and whenever we'd stop, we'd play games, do lots of talking and just hang out. Then later, when Ken asked me if I wanted to switch from the sweep to the lead, those same two kids spoke up and yelled "NO!" for me, and quickly said that they didn't want me to switch. I asked why, thinking there must be something wrong, or they were just impatient and wanted to start riding again, but they both followed that up with "we're in the back on purpose, we like riding by you...you're fun!" My heart just about melted right then. I know I had the biggest smile on my face as I yelled up to Ken that I was fine and would be happy to stay in the back. 

Tuesday was a completely different story. I worked with the kids from Chapel Hill UMC and although they are by far the most well behaved of the four sites, Tuesday was as rough as any. There was a little girl named Jordan who taught me a lot that day. Riding in the back of the pack, she was one of the slowest riders to begin with. After hitting her first tree, she got off her bike and gave up. She said that she was going to walk her bike, that she couldn't do it, and that she hated biking and was never getting on a bike again. If you recall from a few weeks back, I had a similar problem with a girl who gave up...well...this is the same girl. Not only did she walk her bike, causing me to ride even slower behind her, she made a point to groan and complain all the while. Through her moans, I didn't give up on her. I continued to encourage her and tell her that I knew she could do it, all she had to do was try. She would rebuttal this with, "I'm not good at anything," and "Why should I try if I always fail?" Through all my words of positivity and motivation, she didn't budge and continued to stomp along next to her bike. By this time, we'd lost most of the group and I was getting more frustrated with the situation. 


Evaluating the circumstances in my head, I decided to go with a  tough love strategy instead. When I was in her shoes during Tae Kwon Do back in the day, I wasn't given any mercy and I had to learn things the hard way, but looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way. So I stopped pitying her and kept my mouth shut. She walked and she walked. I directed her up and down each of the steep dips (even when I knew there was a short route to avoid them), because if she wasn't going to participate, she should still have to go through the same path that every other youth did that day. Before one of the last dips, she crashed (for about the eighth time since walking) and dropped to her knees. She sat there quietly for a few moments and once I'd walked over to help her for the first time since the beginning, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and told me that she was afraid. I asked her why and reminded her of how well she was doing prior to her first fall. I asked her about all of the other things in life that she feared. I told her about my fear of heights among other things and how I learned the only way to get over or conquer your fears was to face them head on and that if it didn't crush them, it would at least make them less scary. I told her that if you see something you're afraid of, you need to jump right in, right then. She just listened as I spoke and when I finished, she gracefully stood up, picked up her bike and kept on walking. Up and down, left and right, I felt like such a failure as we walked in silence. Then, out of no where, she turns around and looks at me and says, "Don't say anything," gets on her bike, and slowly pedals forward. Obeying her wishes, I kept my mouth shut and grinned as wide as I think humanly possible (without her seeing of course) and pedaled on. As I watched her ride over the branches, I wondered where I went wrong. I thought about what I could have said differently, how I could have really helped her. All of a sudden, I realized it. I wasn't the one that Jordan needed at that moment. It was only Jesus all along who could have helped her get back on the bike. I looked up to the sky and smiled as I realized God had given her confidence, strength, and power right in front of me. I kept on riding in silence and prayed all the while, thanking God for everything that's ever happened in my life, and everything He's provided for me today. 

If Monday was perfect, Tuesday could have been better, Wednesday was juuuust right. Walnut Hill is my favorite group of kids to hang out with, even if they can be the worst behaved. I feel as though I relate to them so well, and I always seem to get it right when I work with them. They have nicknamed me Red and they use it all the time!


Tuesday night, our weekly worship service was Gospel music themed. I'm realizing more and more how much I value my ability to hear. This was one of the most moving church services I've ever been to, and it had nothing to do with the sermon. Some of the more talented and devoted interns had spent the last two weeks practicing for that night, and it more than paid off. As soon as they began singing, my jaw dropped completely. I swear, I must have sat there for ten minutes with my mouth hanging open, I was so impressed. When a creative and talented friend of mine, Ariel Henderson, began singing her solo portion, her voice literally brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful. Even though the service was two hours long, I wanted the music to keep going! I honestly wanted to record their music and listen to it over and over again for the rest of time. Being able to see familiar faces, some close friends and some distant, all hard-working, God filled interns produce the most moving, inspirational, and powerful music was touching to everyone in the audience. There were so many standing ovations that night it was unbelievable. 


Wednesday night, the house pastors hosted a Coffee House Performance for all of us. There was a line-up of interns who sang songs, recited poetry, and free-styled, as well as some who felt their heart being pulled toward the microphone and poured out their emotions for all to witness. The night also wouldn't have been complete without, of course, COFFEE. :) 

The performances went on for almost three hours as people came and went, watched for a while, gave snaps when appropriate, cheers when it was deserved, I sat, front and center, in awe of the raw talents that I was surrounded with. I go to different sites and see smiling faces, childish interns, yet last night, we witnessed each others hearts, sliced open for all to see. It's impossible to see the pain, suffering, and trials that my co-workers have been through when they're working with children. Project Transformation has done an amazing job of choosing people with stories to serve these kids. When I see interns reading books to elementary kids, punching holes in paper and making random crafts with them, I don't see their God given talents either. Many of them go from acting as through their nine years old again at sites, to perform the most wonderful of piano songs, guitar solos, extending their voices to all who will listen. I sat there, so impressed, so happy, so proud to be a part of this organization, and even have the chance to get to know these truly amazing college students. 

By the end of the week, I am really feeling the exhaustion. After four days of waking up early, biking in the Texas heat all day, entertaining middle schoolers, I want to go into hibernation and sleep for three days straight. However, if anyone, I mean ANYONE, asked me how I felt about Project Transformation, about Dallas, about my summer, about the work that God was doing here, with all 100 of us, my reaction would looking nothing less than this:

Listen to this --> She's Like Texas by Josh Abbott Band :)

"Everybody needs somebody sometimes." -Keith Urban

"It's just the same old yesterday,

and you made a promise to yourself,

that you were never gonna be this way.

And the only thing you've ever known is to run, 

so you keep on driving faster into the sun, 

because everybody needs somebody sometimes."

-Keith Urban

"You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions." -Paul Ferrini

Tuesday night we had our weekly worship service, with the theme being new perspectives. We were blindfolded, shuffled around, and we walked, connected, into the room to sit in darkness together. We were the blind leading the blind. Then, we sat and listened. As a group, we shut out our over-strained ability to see and amplified our remaining four senses.


Everyday at work, we depend on our eyes for everything. We use them t0 watch the kids to make sure they're following directions, to make sure everything is going as planned, to connect with them, to keep track of them, to teach them, to learn from them, and to see our peers do the same. For the moments last Tuesday night that we sat in darkness, a wave of relief washed over the room as we realized that for the time being, we could relax. We didn't have to use our eyes for anything. We weren't being asked to watch anyone, to look anywhere, or to see anything. We were being asked to do everything but. 


After having the chance to meditate on these thoughts, to soak in the pitch black, to embrace the chance to close our eyes, our blindfolds were removed by each other. This was one of the most symbolic parts of the service to me. Although we are all only human, and we are all blind to God's plan, it is through each other we gain the ability to truly see. Once our eyes were released and free, I opened my eyes to see multiple paintings hanging from the ceiling and interns in front of us playing worship music for us. One of our wonderful house pastors, Sam, spoke to us about disability being relative to each of us, and in everyday. Every single person experiences God in a different way, and it is through listening and learning from each other that we learn more about how to worship God and about who He is. Another house pastor, Esther, gave the analogy that each person's version of God is a small piece and by understanding what God means to others, we begin to see the big picture. 


I often fall victim to making general stereotypes of people and assuming. We talked about disability and how all humans are abled, it is only when we are placed in different restricting environments that we are labeled as "disabled." I learned that disability is in all of us and depends solely on the context of the word. 

Spending more and more time in Dallas, my life has been shouting to me about all of the privileges and luxuries I am blessed with. Sometimes, I hate myself for this. I see how much less others have out there and I feel as though I have done nothing to deserve the luck I have. I was born into an easy life, as others have done nothing wrong and will never be able to build themselves out of their current situation. 

This week has been filled with many trials, late night talks, early morning coffee, and eye opening experiences. I've been thinking lately how difficult it is to truly love yourself. There have been so many helpful quotes to inspire me and motivate me to look into my soul and embrace my heart. This one is working within me right now to help me stay true to my soul and to fill my heart. "We accept the love we think we deserve."

Wednesday night, I paid a visit to Walnut Hill's Family Fun Night! There were lots of creative, interactive, and engaging games for the kids and everyone there seemed to be having a blast! I got the chance to hang out with some of the youth that I have biked with so far, and get to know them better which was a really rewarding thing for me. Here's a shot of a few of my friends playing one of the games that involved stuffing marshmallows in your mouth and trying to pronounce certain words... (HILARIOUS)!

Thursday night, I did the same thing but at Chapel Hill's Family Fun Night! They had a theme of "Time Machine." Each room and activity had a different time period time theme and games that revolved around each. I met one of the elementary girls named Mariah. She was extremely intelligent for her age and told me she had plans to go to college and wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. She called me Barbie all night (since I have blonde hair and my teammate's name is Ken) and pulled my hand around to all of the different games and activities. She was a truly free spirit and such an inspiration for me. I often forget that we are here on this Earth to learn. She was a perfect example of this as she'd ask very intellectual questions and never settle for less than her best. She wanted to try everything, and try she did until she got what she wanted, whether it was the victory, improvement, or the joy from the prize. Chapel Hill has some really creative interns and I'm so honored to know them and get to work with their kids every week! :)

Friday I spent the morning at the North Dallas Shared Ministries center. I don't think they quite expected our visit, so after explaining the organization, they threw us in and put us to work for the next three hours! And what a truly challenging and eye opening experience that was. I got to sit in on multiple interviews which were spoken completely in Spanish so the only words I understood were the numbers! I also shadowed this man named Lou for the day. He was probably 70 years old and taught me alot about who I should strive to be when I'm older. He showed me pictures of his granddaughters and nieces and other family members, and he told me that even though this was a high stress, volunteer position, that he'd much rather be making a difference and spending his time at this organization than sitting at home twiddling his thumbs, or spending his life in an expensive condo in Florida. This was interesting to me because he seemed to be more well-off than his co-workers and mentioned multiple trips he had planned to places like Brazil and Spain with his sons. Crazy, confusing, but quite comfortable and content if you ask me :)

After that wonderful and unexpected experience, I FINALLY got the chance to hang out with some family!! :) I got to hang in the pool, go out to dinner, explore the beautiful area of Southlake, Texas, and spend quality time with my Aunt, Uncle, and Granny! Saturday morning I had the absolute amazing honor and opportunity of learning the art of glass blowing. It's unlike anything I've ever done before and it's very HOT! I had a lot of fun and it made me wish I could take it up as a hobby. The art these people make is stunning and one day I hope to decorate my house with it. Thanks to my great family for letting me have the chance to do this. 

We also went on a tour of Fort Worth! I hadn't really noticed how beautiful of a town that is and I loved all of the architecture they have. If I must say, much prettier than Dallas :)

And to end my wonderful (and way too short) of a time with them all, we stopped to eat at this great place called Bread Winning for brunch. I had an amazing pecan waffle and eggs... definitely a scarcity among the many different types of mexican food and casseroles I've been used to this past month! 

This morning, for church, I attended Oak Cliff UMC. This was one of the most culturally challenging services I've ever been to. The sermon was in spanish, therefore I listened to a translator through a little earbud that was passed out to those of us who weren't diverse in our languages. Although I wasn't fond of not being able to hear the pastor speak in full enthusiasm and understand what he was saying, I did like the opportunity to sing in Spanish. Even if I had no clue what I was saying, in an odd way, it made me feel like I could connect spiritually to those around me. Worship is universal and language barriers were not going to stop me from feeling God's compassion this morning. 

Back to work it is this week....with lots of details to cover, this will be our first official week of riding on the dirt trails at LB Houston (exciting)! I'm excited to see how everything is going to turn out...and I'm excited to also play some more TABOO, since I accidentally stayed up until 4am playing with friends last night! Haha :)

Let peace be with you everywhere you go, especially within yourself, for it is the most valuable accessory you can wear :) And please continue to pray for Project Transformation's interns, the kids involved, and our ability to change their lives this summer.

Listen to this --> Resurrection by Wade Bowen :)