"Maybe we won't survive, but maybe we'll grow, we never know." - John Legend

My mind seems to be on over-drive right now...things just keep spinning so quickly, I can't help but to close my eyes and pray that they will slow down. SOON. 

Monday was our first official day taking the youth mountain biking on the LB Houston dirt trails. For how nervous I was, I was pleasantly surprised when it went off without a hitch. This is ironic to me because for how NOT nervous I was for our first day, two weeks ago, it went awfully. Two of the faster kids lined up toward the back of the group before we started, and insisted on staying there. For most of the trail, they'd ask to take extended breaks so that the kids ahead of them could get a head-start so they could race from behind to catch up. I agreed to their sneaky plan, and whenever we'd stop, we'd play games, do lots of talking and just hang out. Then later, when Ken asked me if I wanted to switch from the sweep to the lead, those same two kids spoke up and yelled "NO!" for me, and quickly said that they didn't want me to switch. I asked why, thinking there must be something wrong, or they were just impatient and wanted to start riding again, but they both followed that up with "we're in the back on purpose, we like riding by you...you're fun!" My heart just about melted right then. I know I had the biggest smile on my face as I yelled up to Ken that I was fine and would be happy to stay in the back. 

Tuesday was a completely different story. I worked with the kids from Chapel Hill UMC and although they are by far the most well behaved of the four sites, Tuesday was as rough as any. There was a little girl named Jordan who taught me a lot that day. Riding in the back of the pack, she was one of the slowest riders to begin with. After hitting her first tree, she got off her bike and gave up. She said that she was going to walk her bike, that she couldn't do it, and that she hated biking and was never getting on a bike again. If you recall from a few weeks back, I had a similar problem with a girl who gave up...well...this is the same girl. Not only did she walk her bike, causing me to ride even slower behind her, she made a point to groan and complain all the while. Through her moans, I didn't give up on her. I continued to encourage her and tell her that I knew she could do it, all she had to do was try. She would rebuttal this with, "I'm not good at anything," and "Why should I try if I always fail?" Through all my words of positivity and motivation, she didn't budge and continued to stomp along next to her bike. By this time, we'd lost most of the group and I was getting more frustrated with the situation. 


Evaluating the circumstances in my head, I decided to go with a  tough love strategy instead. When I was in her shoes during Tae Kwon Do back in the day, I wasn't given any mercy and I had to learn things the hard way, but looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way. So I stopped pitying her and kept my mouth shut. She walked and she walked. I directed her up and down each of the steep dips (even when I knew there was a short route to avoid them), because if she wasn't going to participate, she should still have to go through the same path that every other youth did that day. Before one of the last dips, she crashed (for about the eighth time since walking) and dropped to her knees. She sat there quietly for a few moments and once I'd walked over to help her for the first time since the beginning, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and told me that she was afraid. I asked her why and reminded her of how well she was doing prior to her first fall. I asked her about all of the other things in life that she feared. I told her about my fear of heights among other things and how I learned the only way to get over or conquer your fears was to face them head on and that if it didn't crush them, it would at least make them less scary. I told her that if you see something you're afraid of, you need to jump right in, right then. She just listened as I spoke and when I finished, she gracefully stood up, picked up her bike and kept on walking. Up and down, left and right, I felt like such a failure as we walked in silence. Then, out of no where, she turns around and looks at me and says, "Don't say anything," gets on her bike, and slowly pedals forward. Obeying her wishes, I kept my mouth shut and grinned as wide as I think humanly possible (without her seeing of course) and pedaled on. As I watched her ride over the branches, I wondered where I went wrong. I thought about what I could have said differently, how I could have really helped her. All of a sudden, I realized it. I wasn't the one that Jordan needed at that moment. It was only Jesus all along who could have helped her get back on the bike. I looked up to the sky and smiled as I realized God had given her confidence, strength, and power right in front of me. I kept on riding in silence and prayed all the while, thanking God for everything that's ever happened in my life, and everything He's provided for me today. 

If Monday was perfect, Tuesday could have been better, Wednesday was juuuust right. Walnut Hill is my favorite group of kids to hang out with, even if they can be the worst behaved. I feel as though I relate to them so well, and I always seem to get it right when I work with them. They have nicknamed me Red and they use it all the time!


Tuesday night, our weekly worship service was Gospel music themed. I'm realizing more and more how much I value my ability to hear. This was one of the most moving church services I've ever been to, and it had nothing to do with the sermon. Some of the more talented and devoted interns had spent the last two weeks practicing for that night, and it more than paid off. As soon as they began singing, my jaw dropped completely. I swear, I must have sat there for ten minutes with my mouth hanging open, I was so impressed. When a creative and talented friend of mine, Ariel Henderson, began singing her solo portion, her voice literally brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful. Even though the service was two hours long, I wanted the music to keep going! I honestly wanted to record their music and listen to it over and over again for the rest of time. Being able to see familiar faces, some close friends and some distant, all hard-working, God filled interns produce the most moving, inspirational, and powerful music was touching to everyone in the audience. There were so many standing ovations that night it was unbelievable. 


Wednesday night, the house pastors hosted a Coffee House Performance for all of us. There was a line-up of interns who sang songs, recited poetry, and free-styled, as well as some who felt their heart being pulled toward the microphone and poured out their emotions for all to witness. The night also wouldn't have been complete without, of course, COFFEE. :) 

The performances went on for almost three hours as people came and went, watched for a while, gave snaps when appropriate, cheers when it was deserved, I sat, front and center, in awe of the raw talents that I was surrounded with. I go to different sites and see smiling faces, childish interns, yet last night, we witnessed each others hearts, sliced open for all to see. It's impossible to see the pain, suffering, and trials that my co-workers have been through when they're working with children. Project Transformation has done an amazing job of choosing people with stories to serve these kids. When I see interns reading books to elementary kids, punching holes in paper and making random crafts with them, I don't see their God given talents either. Many of them go from acting as through their nine years old again at sites, to perform the most wonderful of piano songs, guitar solos, extending their voices to all who will listen. I sat there, so impressed, so happy, so proud to be a part of this organization, and even have the chance to get to know these truly amazing college students. 

By the end of the week, I am really feeling the exhaustion. After four days of waking up early, biking in the Texas heat all day, entertaining middle schoolers, I want to go into hibernation and sleep for three days straight. However, if anyone, I mean ANYONE, asked me how I felt about Project Transformation, about Dallas, about my summer, about the work that God was doing here, with all 100 of us, my reaction would looking nothing less than this:

Listen to this --> She's Like Texas by Josh Abbott Band :)