"Maybe we won't survive, but maybe we'll grow, we never know." - John Legend

My mind seems to be on over-drive right now...things just keep spinning so quickly, I can't help but to close my eyes and pray that they will slow down. SOON. 

Monday was our first official day taking the youth mountain biking on the LB Houston dirt trails. For how nervous I was, I was pleasantly surprised when it went off without a hitch. This is ironic to me because for how NOT nervous I was for our first day, two weeks ago, it went awfully. Two of the faster kids lined up toward the back of the group before we started, and insisted on staying there. For most of the trail, they'd ask to take extended breaks so that the kids ahead of them could get a head-start so they could race from behind to catch up. I agreed to their sneaky plan, and whenever we'd stop, we'd play games, do lots of talking and just hang out. Then later, when Ken asked me if I wanted to switch from the sweep to the lead, those same two kids spoke up and yelled "NO!" for me, and quickly said that they didn't want me to switch. I asked why, thinking there must be something wrong, or they were just impatient and wanted to start riding again, but they both followed that up with "we're in the back on purpose, we like riding by you...you're fun!" My heart just about melted right then. I know I had the biggest smile on my face as I yelled up to Ken that I was fine and would be happy to stay in the back. 

Tuesday was a completely different story. I worked with the kids from Chapel Hill UMC and although they are by far the most well behaved of the four sites, Tuesday was as rough as any. There was a little girl named Jordan who taught me a lot that day. Riding in the back of the pack, she was one of the slowest riders to begin with. After hitting her first tree, she got off her bike and gave up. She said that she was going to walk her bike, that she couldn't do it, and that she hated biking and was never getting on a bike again. If you recall from a few weeks back, I had a similar problem with a girl who gave up...well...this is the same girl. Not only did she walk her bike, causing me to ride even slower behind her, she made a point to groan and complain all the while. Through her moans, I didn't give up on her. I continued to encourage her and tell her that I knew she could do it, all she had to do was try. She would rebuttal this with, "I'm not good at anything," and "Why should I try if I always fail?" Through all my words of positivity and motivation, she didn't budge and continued to stomp along next to her bike. By this time, we'd lost most of the group and I was getting more frustrated with the situation. 


Evaluating the circumstances in my head, I decided to go with a  tough love strategy instead. When I was in her shoes during Tae Kwon Do back in the day, I wasn't given any mercy and I had to learn things the hard way, but looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way. So I stopped pitying her and kept my mouth shut. She walked and she walked. I directed her up and down each of the steep dips (even when I knew there was a short route to avoid them), because if she wasn't going to participate, she should still have to go through the same path that every other youth did that day. Before one of the last dips, she crashed (for about the eighth time since walking) and dropped to her knees. She sat there quietly for a few moments and once I'd walked over to help her for the first time since the beginning, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and told me that she was afraid. I asked her why and reminded her of how well she was doing prior to her first fall. I asked her about all of the other things in life that she feared. I told her about my fear of heights among other things and how I learned the only way to get over or conquer your fears was to face them head on and that if it didn't crush them, it would at least make them less scary. I told her that if you see something you're afraid of, you need to jump right in, right then. She just listened as I spoke and when I finished, she gracefully stood up, picked up her bike and kept on walking. Up and down, left and right, I felt like such a failure as we walked in silence. Then, out of no where, she turns around and looks at me and says, "Don't say anything," gets on her bike, and slowly pedals forward. Obeying her wishes, I kept my mouth shut and grinned as wide as I think humanly possible (without her seeing of course) and pedaled on. As I watched her ride over the branches, I wondered where I went wrong. I thought about what I could have said differently, how I could have really helped her. All of a sudden, I realized it. I wasn't the one that Jordan needed at that moment. It was only Jesus all along who could have helped her get back on the bike. I looked up to the sky and smiled as I realized God had given her confidence, strength, and power right in front of me. I kept on riding in silence and prayed all the while, thanking God for everything that's ever happened in my life, and everything He's provided for me today. 

If Monday was perfect, Tuesday could have been better, Wednesday was juuuust right. Walnut Hill is my favorite group of kids to hang out with, even if they can be the worst behaved. I feel as though I relate to them so well, and I always seem to get it right when I work with them. They have nicknamed me Red and they use it all the time!


Tuesday night, our weekly worship service was Gospel music themed. I'm realizing more and more how much I value my ability to hear. This was one of the most moving church services I've ever been to, and it had nothing to do with the sermon. Some of the more talented and devoted interns had spent the last two weeks practicing for that night, and it more than paid off. As soon as they began singing, my jaw dropped completely. I swear, I must have sat there for ten minutes with my mouth hanging open, I was so impressed. When a creative and talented friend of mine, Ariel Henderson, began singing her solo portion, her voice literally brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful. Even though the service was two hours long, I wanted the music to keep going! I honestly wanted to record their music and listen to it over and over again for the rest of time. Being able to see familiar faces, some close friends and some distant, all hard-working, God filled interns produce the most moving, inspirational, and powerful music was touching to everyone in the audience. There were so many standing ovations that night it was unbelievable. 


Wednesday night, the house pastors hosted a Coffee House Performance for all of us. There was a line-up of interns who sang songs, recited poetry, and free-styled, as well as some who felt their heart being pulled toward the microphone and poured out their emotions for all to witness. The night also wouldn't have been complete without, of course, COFFEE. :) 

The performances went on for almost three hours as people came and went, watched for a while, gave snaps when appropriate, cheers when it was deserved, I sat, front and center, in awe of the raw talents that I was surrounded with. I go to different sites and see smiling faces, childish interns, yet last night, we witnessed each others hearts, sliced open for all to see. It's impossible to see the pain, suffering, and trials that my co-workers have been through when they're working with children. Project Transformation has done an amazing job of choosing people with stories to serve these kids. When I see interns reading books to elementary kids, punching holes in paper and making random crafts with them, I don't see their God given talents either. Many of them go from acting as through their nine years old again at sites, to perform the most wonderful of piano songs, guitar solos, extending their voices to all who will listen. I sat there, so impressed, so happy, so proud to be a part of this organization, and even have the chance to get to know these truly amazing college students. 

By the end of the week, I am really feeling the exhaustion. After four days of waking up early, biking in the Texas heat all day, entertaining middle schoolers, I want to go into hibernation and sleep for three days straight. However, if anyone, I mean ANYONE, asked me how I felt about Project Transformation, about Dallas, about my summer, about the work that God was doing here, with all 100 of us, my reaction would looking nothing less than this:

Listen to this --> She's Like Texas by Josh Abbott Band :)

"Everybody needs somebody sometimes." -Keith Urban

"It's just the same old yesterday,

and you made a promise to yourself,

that you were never gonna be this way.

And the only thing you've ever known is to run, 

so you keep on driving faster into the sun, 

because everybody needs somebody sometimes."

-Keith Urban

"You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions." -Paul Ferrini

Tuesday night we had our weekly worship service, with the theme being new perspectives. We were blindfolded, shuffled around, and we walked, connected, into the room to sit in darkness together. We were the blind leading the blind. Then, we sat and listened. As a group, we shut out our over-strained ability to see and amplified our remaining four senses.


Everyday at work, we depend on our eyes for everything. We use them t0 watch the kids to make sure they're following directions, to make sure everything is going as planned, to connect with them, to keep track of them, to teach them, to learn from them, and to see our peers do the same. For the moments last Tuesday night that we sat in darkness, a wave of relief washed over the room as we realized that for the time being, we could relax. We didn't have to use our eyes for anything. We weren't being asked to watch anyone, to look anywhere, or to see anything. We were being asked to do everything but. 


After having the chance to meditate on these thoughts, to soak in the pitch black, to embrace the chance to close our eyes, our blindfolds were removed by each other. This was one of the most symbolic parts of the service to me. Although we are all only human, and we are all blind to God's plan, it is through each other we gain the ability to truly see. Once our eyes were released and free, I opened my eyes to see multiple paintings hanging from the ceiling and interns in front of us playing worship music for us. One of our wonderful house pastors, Sam, spoke to us about disability being relative to each of us, and in everyday. Every single person experiences God in a different way, and it is through listening and learning from each other that we learn more about how to worship God and about who He is. Another house pastor, Esther, gave the analogy that each person's version of God is a small piece and by understanding what God means to others, we begin to see the big picture. 


I often fall victim to making general stereotypes of people and assuming. We talked about disability and how all humans are abled, it is only when we are placed in different restricting environments that we are labeled as "disabled." I learned that disability is in all of us and depends solely on the context of the word. 

Spending more and more time in Dallas, my life has been shouting to me about all of the privileges and luxuries I am blessed with. Sometimes, I hate myself for this. I see how much less others have out there and I feel as though I have done nothing to deserve the luck I have. I was born into an easy life, as others have done nothing wrong and will never be able to build themselves out of their current situation. 

This week has been filled with many trials, late night talks, early morning coffee, and eye opening experiences. I've been thinking lately how difficult it is to truly love yourself. There have been so many helpful quotes to inspire me and motivate me to look into my soul and embrace my heart. This one is working within me right now to help me stay true to my soul and to fill my heart. "We accept the love we think we deserve."

Wednesday night, I paid a visit to Walnut Hill's Family Fun Night! There were lots of creative, interactive, and engaging games for the kids and everyone there seemed to be having a blast! I got the chance to hang out with some of the youth that I have biked with so far, and get to know them better which was a really rewarding thing for me. Here's a shot of a few of my friends playing one of the games that involved stuffing marshmallows in your mouth and trying to pronounce certain words... (HILARIOUS)!

Thursday night, I did the same thing but at Chapel Hill's Family Fun Night! They had a theme of "Time Machine." Each room and activity had a different time period time theme and games that revolved around each. I met one of the elementary girls named Mariah. She was extremely intelligent for her age and told me she had plans to go to college and wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. She called me Barbie all night (since I have blonde hair and my teammate's name is Ken) and pulled my hand around to all of the different games and activities. She was a truly free spirit and such an inspiration for me. I often forget that we are here on this Earth to learn. She was a perfect example of this as she'd ask very intellectual questions and never settle for less than her best. She wanted to try everything, and try she did until she got what she wanted, whether it was the victory, improvement, or the joy from the prize. Chapel Hill has some really creative interns and I'm so honored to know them and get to work with their kids every week! :)

Friday I spent the morning at the North Dallas Shared Ministries center. I don't think they quite expected our visit, so after explaining the organization, they threw us in and put us to work for the next three hours! And what a truly challenging and eye opening experience that was. I got to sit in on multiple interviews which were spoken completely in Spanish so the only words I understood were the numbers! I also shadowed this man named Lou for the day. He was probably 70 years old and taught me alot about who I should strive to be when I'm older. He showed me pictures of his granddaughters and nieces and other family members, and he told me that even though this was a high stress, volunteer position, that he'd much rather be making a difference and spending his time at this organization than sitting at home twiddling his thumbs, or spending his life in an expensive condo in Florida. This was interesting to me because he seemed to be more well-off than his co-workers and mentioned multiple trips he had planned to places like Brazil and Spain with his sons. Crazy, confusing, but quite comfortable and content if you ask me :)

After that wonderful and unexpected experience, I FINALLY got the chance to hang out with some family!! :) I got to hang in the pool, go out to dinner, explore the beautiful area of Southlake, Texas, and spend quality time with my Aunt, Uncle, and Granny! Saturday morning I had the absolute amazing honor and opportunity of learning the art of glass blowing. It's unlike anything I've ever done before and it's very HOT! I had a lot of fun and it made me wish I could take it up as a hobby. The art these people make is stunning and one day I hope to decorate my house with it. Thanks to my great family for letting me have the chance to do this. 

We also went on a tour of Fort Worth! I hadn't really noticed how beautiful of a town that is and I loved all of the architecture they have. If I must say, much prettier than Dallas :)

And to end my wonderful (and way too short) of a time with them all, we stopped to eat at this great place called Bread Winning for brunch. I had an amazing pecan waffle and eggs... definitely a scarcity among the many different types of mexican food and casseroles I've been used to this past month! 

This morning, for church, I attended Oak Cliff UMC. This was one of the most culturally challenging services I've ever been to. The sermon was in spanish, therefore I listened to a translator through a little earbud that was passed out to those of us who weren't diverse in our languages. Although I wasn't fond of not being able to hear the pastor speak in full enthusiasm and understand what he was saying, I did like the opportunity to sing in Spanish. Even if I had no clue what I was saying, in an odd way, it made me feel like I could connect spiritually to those around me. Worship is universal and language barriers were not going to stop me from feeling God's compassion this morning. 

Back to work it is this week....with lots of details to cover, this will be our first official week of riding on the dirt trails at LB Houston (exciting)! I'm excited to see how everything is going to turn out...and I'm excited to also play some more TABOO, since I accidentally stayed up until 4am playing with friends last night! Haha :)

Let peace be with you everywhere you go, especially within yourself, for it is the most valuable accessory you can wear :) And please continue to pray for Project Transformation's interns, the kids involved, and our ability to change their lives this summer.

Listen to this --> Resurrection by Wade Bowen :)

"Thank God for all I missed, because it led me here to this." -Darius Rucker

This morning I woke up to my favorite sound in the world... thunderstorms! However, after a few moments of laying in bed smiling, I sat up and started freaking out because we didn't have a back-up plan for what to do when we couldn't go mountain biking! Our plan for rainy days was to contact REI to see if they had someone to belay while the kids did indoor rock climbing, but we didn't talk to the store the day before, so we knew that was a no-go. After doing about a half-hours worth of research online about free activities in Dallas, I headed down to breakfast to see if any of my fellow interns had any helpful suggestions. After asking about ten people and striking out, I talked to one of our house pastors, Esther (who is also a Gamma Phi!) and she suggested borrowing intern's gym cards and taking the kids on a tour of SMU and playing indoor soccer and basketball with them. It was such a great suggestion that we did just that! We went from SMU to Walnut Hill UMC to Chapel Hill UMC then back to SMU for the day! Since the sun was out since it had just stopped raining, we took that opportunity to play volleyball on the outdoor sand courts next to the gym. Then after sweating for a while, we headed inside to play some Knock-Out (aka Lightening) on the basketball court then played half court then took a break for lunch....and right back inside to playing full court basketball, then ended with kickball! What a day! As random as it was, I think everyone there would say that it was much more enjoyable then biking out in the heat all day long :)

On a different note...check out this cool wall in a taco place a few friends and I hit up last Sunday for lunch! So cute :)

Last night, a few kids and I crashed one of the team's (Pleasant Mound) bonding time! We all spent the night at a bowling ally laughing, hanging out, and just relaxing after the long... yet first day of work for the week. It was a much needed time away from SMU for me. Although I absolutely love being there and living in community with so many friends, I sometimes feel as though a change of pace is necessary to stay sane. It was such a great chance to get to know some kids I haven't talked to as much as others, as well as strengthen relationships with the ones I have. All in all, a wonderful evening and a spontaneous way to start off the week....ESPECIALLY after having a trying of a day biking as I did. But I don't want to make it seem worse than it was, or re-live it by complaining, so I'll just say this; I am so blessed to have had such positive role models in my life as a child. And I am so grateful that I grew up in a loving environment with loving parents that helped mold me into the strong, caring, passionate individual that I am today. God bless my parents, and everyone out there doing what's right for those they love.

I heard this amazing quote this weekend: "What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for today?"


Listen to this --> The Living Proof by Sanctus Real :)

"We learn the Lord's prayer by heart, but the real joy is when we develop a heart of prayer." - Sarah Wilke

This morning, three of my close girl friends and I went to church at this place called The Village. When we got there, one of my friends made a joke and said, "I've never watched a church service on the big screen before!" I was so confused by her comment, I had to ask what the heck she was talking about. I had assumed this contemporary non-denominal church was much that like that I'd been to around my own college campus. Interestingly enough, it was nothing like that I'd ever been to before. Their motto was, "one church on three campuses." Basically, there are three different locations of this mega-church, yet only one preacher. And apparently, he's pretty famous. After the opening worship, singing, and announcements were made, the lights were dimmed and the on the screens ahead, Matt Chandler appeared and began his weekly sermon. 


After we passed the six parking directors (all relatively young and attractive by the way), and followed the line of cars in to find a parking spot, we got out and noticed a stunning pattern around us. All of the people getting out of their cars, walking towards the church, seemed rather young, and very attractive. Everyone was dressed as if they could have appeared in a magazine, and also seemed to be with a group of close friends or with a significant other and a young child. Upon entering the church, we were not even let into the main sanctuary because it was full. We were ushered into a smaller over-flow room, yet it could still could seat around 300 people. The most ironic part of this was that The Village is on Walnut Hill Rd, which is really close to a couple of the surrounding churches that PT works with. The church around the corner that hosts our PT after school program for many inner-city kids who don't have the luxury of being able to afford multiple pairs of shoes, or enough outfits to make it through the week is the backyard for this church that is thriving and expanding with new and seemingly high-class members. 

Life is so crazy. 


Listen to this --> Safe by Phil Wickham :)

"On Christ the solid Rock I Stand, All other ground is sinking sand." -Avalon

It's so hard to believe that I've been in Dallas for three weeks already! This entire week has been full of joy for me.


Wednesday and Thursday of last week went off much smoother than my first two days. One of the boys, Ivan, taught me how to ride a bike with no hands! One of the groups even had enough time left over to do a little bit of one-on-one racing on the trail too. They really loved that. And on a small side note, by the end of the summer, I think I will be certified in efficient PB&J sandwich making! Monday through Thursday, before we leave SMU, I make an average of 18 sandwiches per day (crazy!). 

Wednesday night the house pastors and PT staff put together something they called PT-Lympics (Olympics). Although I chose to photograph instead of compete, I ended up winning the Team Congeniality award which consisted of freeze-pops, a Miss Congeniality sash and a yellow basketball with a huge smiley face on it! :) The last challenge of the night was digging a piece of bubblegum out of a bowl of flour without using your hands, and after that ridiculous task, everyone decided it would be a great idea to have a fight with water balloons and leftover flour! I really enjoy the silly-ness that adults can still have in their hearts!

Friday was spent at the Jubilee Park Community Center learning about how real urban areas strengthen their communities and increase comprehensive education within the children as well. We learned a lot about what Jubilee Park is doing to keep up their community, keep crime rates down, and build themselves an involved, safe place to belong. There were many interesting stories told, and a lot of things I learned about this new area of Dallas that I was unaware of before. 

 

Friday night I went to Chipotle Mexican Grill with my friends Erin, Dai and Antoine. A small trip to get nachos turned into a three hour session of talking and opening up about Christian life and theories. After Chipotle closed and we were forced to leave, we took a blanket to a park on campus and laid out there admiring the universe and working out self imbalances for another hour and a half. Here were my favorite words of advice from the night.

"You know who you want to be, but you don't what to give up who you are." -Dai Lanier


This is the one thing I really needed to hear. I may be doing exactly what I want to be doing, but I'm not always doing it with God in mind. It's so difficult to always keep my mind conscious of the fact that I shouldn't be living for myself. As busy as I've been the past few weeks, it's slipped away from me way too many times to believe. 


This weekend, I also got the chance to play video games for the first time since I got here! Some of the guys set up an xbox and were playing Halo on a projector screen in LXA. I eagerly jumped in, and after playing for way too long, I won the last game by one point, sending the room into cheers and I got so many high-fives after that I could have just won the Super Bowl and someone wouldn't have been able to tell the difference after! :)


Yesterday, a group of about 30 of us caravanned to Sherman, Texas to visit another group of Project Transformation interns. After the two hour drive to Lake Texoma (one side of the lake was Texas land and one side was Oklahoma!), we jumped in the lake, played around, wandered the beach, grilled burgers and then scooted out of there before the storm with predicted hail could hit!

As premature as this is, I'm really sad that I will have to be leaving Dallas in 47 days. :( It also doesn't help that the wonderful friends I've made don't even all live in the same area. So even if I wanted to, I couldn't travel to one place to see them all! I'd have to go from Austin to Kansas to Alabama to South Carolina. PT has already been an amazing experience of living in community with so many other Christians my age. I find it so amazing that as the older I get, the more joy I find in my peers with the same morals as I. The older we get, and the farther away from being controlled by others we become, the more truth to who we are stands out. Every single college student is here because they love children, Jesus, and figuring out where they're called to be. Every intern here is in the same walk of life I am and getting to know people from across the country is such an experience. For as nervous as I was to arrive here, and for as terrible of a first night I had here, I couldn't imagine this internship going any better than it is right now. 


Thank you for keeping me and my summer in your thoughts and prayers. God is so prevalent in my life and in the people around me right now, and for that I thank Him constantly. 


Listen to this --> Waiting Room by Jonny Diaz

"To hunger for use and to go unused is the worst hunger of all." -Lyndon B. Johnson

Day Two of Mountain Biking is completed! And for how nervous I was to start the day, seeing how yesterday ended, today was an absolute miracle. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only person who can change situations. I am not the only influence that affects how my day will go. I can't always do it all. And for that, I praise God. He is working visibly in the people's lives around me, as well as mine. I can already tell what a blessing Project Transformation is going to be for me this summer. 

Something I've noticed throughout the past few weeks is a little phrase that has been pretty consistent through different places and occasions. It started when I went to Pleasant Mound UMC a few weeks back. During the joys and concern portion of the service, a young girl, probably fourth or fifth grade, stood up and said that she wanted to thank God for waking her up this morning. Ever since then, on multiple occasions, I've heard interns also thank God for the same thing, or for giving them another day. I haven't thought about how truly grateful I am to be given another shot at life each day. It's such a positive sign to me that I must be doing something right. God has the power to (figuratively) snap His fingers and end my life, yet he allows me to keep on breathing, and to keep walking this beautiful Earth each day when I wake up. 


Reverend JoNell Lindh at Chapel Hill UMC spoke about this openly last Sunday at worship. She said, "So take a breath, and just keep breathing. For this is God's moment by moment gift to us." Personally, I could not have described this true grace God has on us any better. I am so thankful for all of the children that I am getting to know and having the opportunity to influence. 


On day two of biking, many detrimental and developmental things happened. The day started with us running out of smaller sized bikes for the sixth grade aged out of the group. The particular kids we took today were smaller than we've been working with and there were a couple complains and struggles to fit them to bikes. One girl specifically was having a difficult time adjusting to the height of her bike, which was clearly too tall for her. She gave up almost instantly, saying that she couldn't do it, that it was impossible for her to ride the bike and that she was simply planning on walking her bike the six miles of trail we had planned for the day. After much encouraging and questioning her complaints, I didn't feel as though I was making any progress with her. Luckily, another youth donated their small bike and took the slightly larger one so that she could participate. After a rough start, she bounced back and even though she was always the last rider out of the group, she perked right up and had a great time. Another truly inspiring child today was a girl who had never ridden a bicycle without training-wheels before. She neglected to tell us this before our ride, and because of how embarrassed she was, she decided to suck it up and just try to ride before spilling the truth to anyone. Unnoticed by us, of course, she adapted very quickly and developed a true passion for biking. As soon as she got the hang of the bike, she excitedly told me all about how this was her first time riding a two wheeled bike and the first time she'd even been on a bicycle for the past four years. She had the excitement and ambition that would motivate anyone to try harder. She would shake and squirm and get really nervous on all of the tight turns and hills, but with the slightest bit of advice and encouragement, she proudly finished all of the challenges at hand. 


Here's a shot one of my friends took of me instructing the stretching portion of the day! :) I really wish that I could post photos of the wonderful children I get to work with on my blog, but due to parental consent and privacy reasons, I am forced to refrain!

Another inspiration to me was one of the older boys in the group. He seemed to be significantly more mature than the rest of the group, as well as taller and stronger. When we asked the kids to find a "buddy" for the ride to help each other out, he proceeded to choose the smallest little boy and become partners. Throughout the entire day he stayed by his side and helped him when he was struggling. He showed true leadership skills and I felt so proud of him. It never ceases to amaze me how pure and genuine children can be at times :) I'm so glad they can stand strong in the midst of life giving them every reason to back down. 

I never would have expected falling in love with this program this early on. I can already see the transformations in myself, the children, as well as the interns around me. I am already sad that I will have to leave at the end of the summer. It seems like it's already approaching so quickly. Living in community with so many other people my age, with the same beliefs as I have, with the same intentions I have, and with the same love for life that I have, is truly amazing. All of the interns here are so kind, fun, loving, and genuinely interesting people I could spend the next year here with them all and probably still feel the way I do now! 

On that note, check out the multitude of ways God is working in Texas in some other interns blogs: SHELLEY GUDOBBA & KRISTA CASTRO :)

As for all of the personal work I've been doing, I have a lot of realizations to come, and a lot more figuring out to do about who I will become. It's easy to say who I am right now. It's easy to tell you what I love and what I don't. It isn't as easy to tell you what I am called to do with who I am and where I'm called to be with what I have. A small sign I received today was when I was swimming laps after a long day in the heat. The song Teenage Dream by Katy Perry came on in the gym and I stopped at the end of my lap and just stood there listening and thinking back to my spring break trip to New Orleans. I remembered how at home I felt there. I remembered walking the yard thinking, I could live the rest of my life serving youth in a ministry setting. Oh how I miss that week in New Orleans with the perfect group of kids. And after typing that out... I still feel as though perfect is an understatement for the people I was with. More like God sent people. 

That's how I feel here at PT, but there's something different this time. There seems to be a different vibe. This kind of love and willingness to learn is long-term verse the short-term week in Louisiana. The interns here are wonderful. I feel so comfortable. I feel so free. And I feel so useful. It's hard for me to convey just how much I've been needing a summer of service such as this. During the school year, I yearn to do something. To do anything. I don't get the chance to do service work, to volunteer, or to hang out with kids. I feel like God is really and finally using me and my passions this summer. Sitting here, thinking about the future, about my identity, my purpose, my passions, and my dreams, I am nothing but excited to see what God has in store for my life! :)

Listen to this --> Stay by Jake Ousley :)

"In a world that tries to water You down, where beliefs cannot be spoken too loud, I'll stand for truth." -Jonny Diaz

Today was my first day that I actually had the chance to take kids biking! We started them on the concrete trails, just so they could find their footing and get used to biking in the wonderful Texas heat :) Although lots of things didn't go quite as planned, and we ended up being crammed for time, I had a blast! I absolutely love getting the opportunity to get to know these kids better. I spent the day with nine of the youth from Wesley Rankin and two of their youth interns. Overall, it ended up being the most stressful, yet most rewarding day I've had so far!

There's a lot of stuff that I need to learn this summer. Today I've realized, patience is one of them. Whether it's with the disagreements between teammates, or slapping a smile on my face through my boredom of riding in the back of the pack everyday, I have a lot to work on within myself to make this summer beneficial for myself, as well as all of the great kids I get to work with.

Another wonderful thing that happened today was an unexpected event at dinner. Each week, us interns upload our photos from the week onto a community laptop that are then judged by the PT staff for the best shot for the week. I had the honor of winning the first week's photo competition (Yay!). I got to choose from a random array of blank envelopes what my prize would be...and I hit the jackpot! I won 3 tickets to Six Flags over Texas in Arlington :) I can't wait!! Because of this, lots of my new friends around PT have been really nice to me...hoping to get one of those tickets, which I can honestly say, I don't think I'm going to mind the extra attention (haha!)

Last Sunday, I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Chapel Hill UMC with the group of interns that adopted me for the week. To my surprise, the group choreographed a dance that they performed last Wednesday morning at Muevete, changing the words to the famous song, My Girl by The Temptations. Lots of the words were changed to "mountain biking," "pedaling"... and creative little phrases like this...and my favorite part was that instead of saying "my girl," they sang "kristen" in its place (in perfect harmony, if I do say so  myself!). It was such a sweet gesture and I really appreciated feeling apart of their group for the week. That morning they also presented me with a coupon for a free lunch for the upcoming Sunday! I used it wisely and we went to Cafe Brazil and I had some delicious french toast with lots of fruit on top.

Also, thank goodness for positive, inspiring, helpful, caring, genuine, intentional and God driven people that were placed in my life this summer!! :)

I'm off to bed for now so I can wake up in the morning and run before Day 2 of this lovely and God blessed chaos starts all over again :) Once I develop a rhythm and get into the swing of this new challenge, falling alseep at night will be a lot easier!

Listen to this --> Stand For You by Jonny Diaz :)
Thanks for letting me burn this album Erin! It's so peaceful in the most stressful of times.

"Because you determine your worth, with the things you do on God's green Earth." - Rico Dickerson

This week has been full of ups and downs. While I got to spend time getting to know my fellow interns, I've had a some time to myself as well. I've done a lot of looking inward in the past week and it has never felt better. The Tuesday night worships that are, for the most part, intern led, have opened my eyes and helped me clear my head and stay sane during these crazy times. 


Every second of the day seems to be filled with something different. Even my day off has been filled with lovely cultural activities! For our first Tuesday night worship, Reverend Chris Schoolcraft paid us a special visit. He was one of PT's first interns in 1998. He spoke about the importance of this summer. He told what we should get out of it, and that we need to let ourselves be changed. Schoolcraft said, "We often miss the value of the people right next to us. We get caught up in the every day and miss the value of those humble people." I've been trying to do this since I arrived in Dallas. I have met so many different types of people and some with such different background and cultural experiences, it has opened my eyes to all of the different types of people and lifestyles out there. Another thing Schoolcraft said was this; "Your story is not the only story. Your story is part of a bigger story."


To me, Dallas has an entirely different and interesting vibe than my usual Michigan life. I feel so comfortable here. There is such a natural feeling about being in this location. I think this internship was just the break from my mundane that I needed. I'm becoming unsure if I'm cut out for the life I was living. After so long, my attention and appreciation for places diminishes. Maybe my story isn't meant to be rooted. Michigan has been worth the while. But life there has become bland, and meaningless. I go through every day, and every week, without contributing to the well-being of the world. I go through my life in Michigan without helping anyone. I have a strong passion for helping people, and I don't feel fulfilled, no matter what I engage myself in. Schoolcraft ended his speach to us last Tuesday with these words, "So many people have chased success and missed significance." Being in Dallas, I feel like there are endless opportunities to become significant. 

During my first weekend of free time, a bunch of us went out to celebrate a few birthdays in the group! We got all dressed up, (a huge change from the camp clothes of shorts &t-shirts) and went to dinner at On The Border. After that, we roamed around a nearby (and high class) mall, to waste some time before seeing the new X-Men movie! Even if we wouldn't have been at one of the coolest movie theaters I've ever been too, the movie itself was worth the money! This place was kind of like dinner and a movie all in one. Each row of seats had a table in front of them with buttons to press to call the servers (sort of like on an airplane). The large group of us chose to sit in the back, so as to not distract any of the other viewers with our immature talking, games and horse-play before the movie started. The chairs were like office chairs, wheels and recliners included. Since I was in such a different place, I felt the need to live the whole experience, so I ordered a delicious brownie sundae for dessert :)


With the change of atmosphere here in Dallas, I have decided that I must live and truly engage in these cultural differences, as well as endure these trials of new life changing activities so I can truly get the most out of PT that I can. 

This weekend, with my day and a half of free time, I spent a large chunk of it laying outside at the pool with some friends. Although there was lots of quality bonding and getting to know each other on a deeper and more soulful level, we all lost track of time and fried ourselves, resulting in everyone walking a bit slower, and a large purchase of aloe! Today, I actually had the opportunity to go to this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant called Cafe Madrid with my friends Erin and Andrew. Regardless of the fact that I didn't know what a single thing was on the menu, nor could I pronounce it, it was the best food I've eaten in a long time. The authenticity and real character this food, and building had, was indescribable. I could have eaten there everyday this week if I had the choice. And if nothing else, it truly heightened my yearning to travel abroad. 


For dinner, a large group of us gathered together for a girls night! Once again, we got all dressed up, and headed over to Pei Wei where I had some amazing caramel chicken and rice :) For dessert, we visited (for the second time this week) a great little frozen yogurt place, unlike any I've ever been to! At this place, they charge by the ounce of ice cream you buy, and it's self serve, including the large variety of toppings too. The first time I went to a place like this I got Italian Cappuccino flavored ice cream. This time, I tried Fudge Brownie Cake Batter fro-yo! Both were soooo delicious! Mmmm :)

Listen to this --> God of Justice by Tim Hughes :)

"God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way." -Leighton Ford

After having completed my first full week of training, I couldn't be more exhausted. From going to bed at 9pm to waking up at 5am, and doing everything imaginable in-between....it's been a busy last few days!

On Monday, I got the opportunity to meet up with a past mountain biking intern who was kind enough to teach us the ropes of what this job actually entailed! It was such a relief to finally learn about what I'd be doing for the summer. We learned a lot, got to ride LB Houston, which was so much fun. It was for the most party pretty flat, with a lot of dips in certain areas, but nothing too difficult. I just can't wait to ride it with the kids, I know they're going to tear it up!

A typical day with the youth is going to look something like this: Meet at Muevete at 7:15am in the Lambda Chai house. From there, my mountain biking partner-in-crime and I will leave to go to our respective site of the day and pick up about 14 kids (6th-9th grade aged) and drive them to the Pack-and-Stack storage unit off of Northwest Highway in Dallas. Each kid will be given a bicycle, helmet, riding gloves and a camel back to use for the day. We'll ride as a group about 1/2 mile from there to the trail-head. After stretching and drinking more water, we'll start on the first of three loops. The first, being rather short, doesn't have anything super eventful to it...just some tight turns, and gorgeous scenery. In contrast, the second loop has lots of dips, turns, stumps, and broken trees that will keep you on your toes for the duration of this section. Luckily for us, there are lots of open areas throughout that will be perfect for taking breaks and letting the kids rest for a few minutes before continuing. After that everyone will stop back where we started and take an hour off for lunch (peanut butter &jelly sandwiches &an apple) and games (soccer). After lunch the kids will head back out to ride the third, and also pretty short, loop of the trail. As soon as that's finished, we'll ride back to storage, put everything away, and drive back to the sites the kids came from. Hopefully putting Ken and my arrival back at SMU around 4pm.

More updates SOON to come :)

Listen to this --> The Truth by Jason Aldean :)